Not Over You
by Doxiesaurus
Summary: The death of the archangel Gabriel has taken it's toll on Sam. After an argument with Dean, Sam sits alone in his motel room and thinks about how much he misses Gabriel. Just when he's lost all hope, something extraordinary happens.
1. Chapter 1

"You need to stop keeping things from me!" Dean screamed, throwing the cheap motel lamp off of the table. "What the hell is up with you Sam? You're acting all kinds of crazy."

"I'm fine Dean!" Sam yelled back, frustrated. "Stop getting so worried about me, I can take care of myself! We're not kids anymore!" Sam lied through his teeth. What he was feeling was the complete opposite of what he said. He felt like a train wreck. Dean was right. There was something up with him lately and he was acting all kinds of crazy, but he just wasn't looking to have what his brother would call a chick flick moment. He knew if Dean was in the same situation he wouldn't talk openly to Sam, so he didn't feel like he needed to either. Plus, it's not like Dean would take well to what he had to say.

"Fine!" Dean hissed when he realized Sam wasn't going to budge. He angrily stormed out of the motel room, slamming the door so hard that Sam was genuinely surprised when it didn't crack in two. When he heard the roaring of the Impala engine fading into the distance he sighed. He knew driving calmed Dean when he was frustrated, and when he started driving, he usually didn't stop for a long time. _Good_, he thought. _At least now I have some time to think._ He knew that Dean would come back eventually, but he had at least the rest of the night to himself.

_Maybe this will calm me down, S_am thought. He lifted the cover to his laptop and slid a slightly scratched disc into the CD compartment. The truth is, he knew watching this video would only make things worse for him, but he couldn't help it. He just had to see his face one more time. He hesitated for a second, but soon he clicked play and the video clip was rolling.

First he heard a young girl's voice, which was the part he didn't care about. Even if Sam was here to watch a video about hot, half naked, girls, she just wasn't his type, she was more for Dean. Sam didn't even know what she was saying, he never really did focus on this part, for all he knew she could be rambling off some secret spells that could smite all existing demons.

**"Sam, Dean, you're probably wondering what the hell's going on."**

Gabriel's familiar voice instantly caused Sam to tear up. It felt like his heart had been ripped right out of his chest and stepped on by Lucifer himself.

**"Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead."**

He was full on sobbing now, his tears streamed down his face from his eyes that were growing redder from each drop of salty liquid that poured from them. His body was shaking and his chest was heaving. Almost inhuman noises escaped his mouth. He could barely breathe.

**"Oh please! Stop sobbing, it's embarrassing for all of us."**

_Oh Gabriel, you know me so well, _Sam thought. Despite the fact that his hands were shaking uncontrollably, he managed to pause the video, he always did at this point. Sure, it was helpful the first time around and led to the Winchester brothers stopping the apocalypse, but that was over a long time ago. All Sam wanted now was his archangel back. He would do anything to see him alive, even if he had to tango with Death himself again.

The younger Winchester gently touched the computer screen. _If only this was real._ All he wanted was to be close to his archangel again. He wanted to run his fingers through his golden hair and smell the sweet scent that radiated from his skin. He wanted to feel his gentle touch and hold hands at the park and kiss in the rain. He wanted to hold him tight under the covers and never let go. He just wanted things to be back to normal again. Sam and Dean had come back from the dead more times than he could count, so why couldn't someone, anyone, give Gabriel another chance, just one more chance.

Sam trapped himself in his own little world where him and Gabriel owned a house and had normal lives and normal jobs. They were a family. Sam wasn't Lucifer's vessel and him and Dean never started the apocalypse. His brother, who actually approved and supported his relationship, would come over with his wife, Lisa, and her son and they would all have family gatherings and Gabriel would pull pranks on them all. He got to kiss him hello and kiss him goodnight and he never stopped telling him how much he loved him. Oh how he wished he did that when he was still around. Not once did he tell Gabriel how much he meant to him, and it crushed him now knowing the most important person to him didn't even know how he felt before he was gone for good.

Just like that the tears started coming again and his body trembled. He was whimpering and gasping for air. "Gabriel, no." he cried out loud. "I need you. Please come back." He knew it wouldn't work, he had tried to reach him before. He had spent hours upon hours praying to someone who wasn't even there, someone that couldn't listen even if they wanted to. Any bit of hope he still had left was gone. He was never going to see Gabriel again.

A familiar swoosh of angel wings came from the other side of the room. "Hey, Cas." Sam mumbled. He was embarrassed that Cas had to see him this way and wasn't really ready to be questioned on what was going on.

"Ugh." came a familiar voice from the other side of the room. "Sam what has gotten into you kiddo? Did some scary monsters mess with your brain again?"

It wasn't Cas.


	2. Chapter 2

The familiar voice caused Sam's heart to skip a beat and sent a chill down his spine. He turned around to a smile that he knew belonged to the very archangel Gabriel, a smile that lit up the room. His eyes had that certain sparkle to them that he had never seen in anyone else and he could almost taste the sweet smell of sugar from across the room. He couldn't believe his eyes. Gabriel, the archangel he thought was dead and gone only seconds ago was now standing in his motel room with the cheesiest grin plastered across his face. He could only hope that he wasn't imagining things. This wouldn't be the first time that someone tampered with his mind and played cruel tricks on him.

Normally when someone comes back from the dead you make sure that they're not something that goes bump in the night and is out to get you, but Sam didn't even care anymore. Maybe it was Gabriel and maybe it wasn't. His whole mind was a haze. He didn't even think about what he was doing, he just did it, and before he knew it he was holding Gabriel tight in his arms, burying his face into his hair, inhaling his intoxicating sweet scent, kissing his forehead, and smiling more than he ever had in his life. "I love you." Sam barely whispered through his tears. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Gabriel paused for a second, unable to believe what he was hearing. Sam had never told him that he loved him, but now that's all he was saying. "I love you too, my gorgeous moose." Gabriel finally managed to get out, snuggling closer to Sam. He loved being close to him and listening his heart beat rhythmically. He had seen God create the very earth that they were on. Gabriel watched the first rainbow across the sky and he saw when dinosaurs first roamed the earth. He had seen every single thing his father had created, and while they were all beautiful and breathtaking in their own ways, Gabriel's favorite creation was people, more specifically Sam Winchester. If it wasn't for him, Gabriel wouldn't be sane. Sam was Gabriel's light at the end of the tunnel, his only reason for sticking around, and hearing Sam just speak those three words made his heart soar. He never thought the younger Winchester would feel the same way he did about him, and now that he knew for sure, he didn't care about the apocalypse or the leviathans. All that mattered to him was that he was here in this moment snuggled up to the one and only Sam Winchester.

Sam lifted his head from Gabriel's shoulder and looked into his almost golden eyes. He would have loved to stay in the comforting silence forever just holding Gabriel tight, but he had so many questions. Truth is, people coming back from the dead was no longer a big phenomenon to the Winchesters. Both of the brothers and other family and friends had died, sometimes multiple times, only to walk the earth again. Some of the deaths, hundreds of them actually, were caused by Gabriel himself. Sam snickered at the thought that this small, helpless looking, guy was actually a fierce and powerful archangel that caused his brother to die over and over again. "So," he began. "How'd you do it?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I just got back kiddo, and you're already questioning me?" Gabriel paused waiting for so much as a chuckle from his hunter, but he remained silent, his eyes red from crying all this time still fixated onto Gabriel's. He may have just returned from the dead, but Sam wanted answers and he wanted them now. "You know what samsquatch, can we discuss this over coffee?" Sam nodded, but soon regretted it. With a snap of his archangel fingers, Gabriel had teleported them to a small coffee shop. Despite the fact that they appeared from nowhere, no one around them seemed to notice.

"This," Sam's voice trailed off, partially due to the dizziness angel travel had caused him and partially because he was just amazed. "This is the coffee shop where we went on our first date."

"And bingo was his name-o." Gabriel laughed, standing on the tips of his toes to reach up to kiss Sam. He loved that Sam was big and tall, but he had to admit that the height difference was a disadvantage to him most of the time. Sometimes he secretly wished that he had picked a taller vessel. "So what do you say kiddo, how about I grab us something to drink and you grab us a table?"

Sam nodded reluctantly. Now that Gabriel was here he never wanted to let him go, even though he knew he would be right back. As they separated, his heart dropped. He felt like a lost puppy with separation anxiety, and apparently he looked like a lost puppy too because a few people shot him concerned looks when he paced around the same table multiple times before finally sitting down and twiddling his thumbs hoping that Gabe would just hurry up already. Maybe he was being over dramatic, but he had finally found something that he thought was lost forever and he didn't want to part with it, not even for a second.

When Gabriel finally sat down with two large cups filled with coffee and two cake pops, Sam let out a relieved sigh. "Dude, I was gone for 5 minutes." Gabriel said, his voice taking on a concerned tone now. "Look," he began, reaching for Sam's hand. "I'm here now and I'm here to stay, you hear me?" Sam nodded and held Gabriel's hand in his. During this time he had almost forgotten how much he loved how it felt to hold Gabriel's hand. His skin was soft and his small hand easily fit into his. It just felt like it was meant to be.

Gabriel sighed and snapped his fingers once more, bringing them back to the same cruddy motel room. Their coffee and food was on the nightstand and they were now laying on Sam's bed. Sam was confused, but he wasted no time wrapping his arms around his small angel. "Sam, I'll tell you everything." Gabriel promised. "But right now you look like you're on the verge of having a mental breakdown. Maybe you need some rest."

Sam sighed and nodded. He wanted to know how Gabriel was back and why he was back, but now he was too tired to even care. He got even closer to Gabriel and let the warmth of his partner's body lull him into a deep sleep. Gabriel smiled. Maybe archangels didn't need to sleep, but he could spend the rest of eternity like this with Sam.

It wasn't long before the motel door creaked open and Sam was awoken with a start by his brother screaming "My brother's screwing a dead archangel!"


End file.
